I stumbled onto a post which was written over a year ago, but link-worthy nonetheless. Check out the tattoo a grown queerspawn chose to honor her parents’ commitment ceremony:

Sure, I’ve seen temporary proclamations before. But a permanent tattoo? Now that’s commitment.

The Journal Inquirer in North Central Connecticut published a profile on Rebecca Lazarus, a 13-year-old who continues to find opportunities to advocate on behalf of her family and other children who have two moms or two dads.

Excerpt:

Because Lazarus, who is her biological father, and Charette [her father's partner] aren’t legally married, if something were to happen to Lazarus, Rebecca could be taken away from Charette and put in foster care unless the couple has what’s called a co-parent adoption in place.

A co-parent adoption guarantees that the second parent’s custody rights and responsibilities will be protected if the first parent were to die or become incapacitated.

Read the rest of the story:
Little Girl, Big Voice
By Kristen J. Tsetsi
Journal Inquirer
December 24, 2007

The online version does not include photos, but here’s a shot I took of Becca and her parents from a previous post:

Since writing Families Like Mine, I have been occasionally schooled by individuals who point out that I did not coin the phrase “queerspawn.” I can’t argue with them: I did not, nor have I ever claimed that I did.

The person who did come up with it is Stefan Lynch. I say so in Families Like Mine on page 11, and I also wrote about the history of the word in an article published in 2001.

So why I am still being “reminded” that I should stop taking credit for inventing this word? Sigh. I’m not taking credit for it. And unfortunately, I can’t really control if other people imply that I am.

For a while last year, an entry on Wikipedia credited me with the term. I, not being a Wiki-head, sent out some emails with a plea to correct that, and someone fixed it. The entry for the word was later taken down altogether. Now, the Wikipedia entry about me (which I have nothing to do with) credits me with “popularizing” the term. I would say, yes, that’s fair, since Families Like Mine was, to the best of my knowledge, the first book to print the word.

Although the Wikipedia entry was changed from “coined” to “popularized,” the perception that Abigail claims the term as “hers” continues. Where is this coming from? Perhaps glbtq.com, a site that aims to be an online encyclopedia for all things queer.

Here’s what the entry says about queerspawn:

Oddly, my kindred-queerspawn Stefan is mentioned directly above me in the entry. Just a few moments of fact-checking beyond Wikipedia (for example, the index in my book) could have prevented this misinformation from gaining additional momentum by what many people look to as an authoritative source for LGBT communities.

I will contact lgbtq.com, and I am sure they will correct it ASAP.

[Update 11/19/07: I emailed Editor Claude Summers who fixed it instantly. It now says: "The term, coined by Stefan Lynch and employed by Garner..."]

I will keep this post up even after it is corrected, however, because documenting how the queerspawn movement is documented — correctly or otherwise — is in itself a necessary part of building an effective queerspawn movement.

“It” being homophobia mixed in with racism.

San Francisco Chronicle has a good article about diversity within LGBT families, as well as a reminder that even in “accepting” cities and states, these families still face discrimination and prejudice. One family profiled in the article clearly illustrates the impact of inequality:

Jadallah, 43, and Karraa, 45, felt those inequities directly after Jadallah gave birth to their twin boys. At the time, they lived in Santa Barbara, where she was a graduate student at UC Santa Barbara. They petitioned for Karraa to adopt the twins but were rejected by a judge because they were same-sex partners. (Five years later, after the passage of Assembly Bill 25, they succeeded in cross-adopting all three children.) As a result, Karraa couldn’t put the children on her health insurance at work, so Jadallah paid extra to add the boys to her student insurance and sought MediCal for well-baby care. The couple also were turned down for university-owned married student housing, so they paid more to rent an apartment in town.

(Emphasis mine.)

Read the article:
Same-sex couples raising children less likely to be white, wealthy
by Tyche Hendricks, Chronicle Staff Writer
Wednesday, October 31, 2007

More about diversity in LGBT families — and media’s role in “disappearing” images of that true diversity — can be found in my book, Families Like Mine, pp. 26-31.

Here are two of my favorite coming-out stories I’ve heard about lately.

The Mayor of San Diego, Jerry Sanders, came out about his daughter the way most people come out the first time: trembling and determined. That is when you know you are doing the right thing: when you have weighed all the risks, yet none of them seem to justify remaining silent. Watch the video, if you haven’t already. I dare you to not shed a tear.

Loraine Barr wrote a “My Turn” essay for Newsweek to come out as lesbian — at the age of 88. She and her partner, who is no longer living, were together for 44 years. Can you imagine? Sharing your life with someone for 44 years and never telling even your closest friends?

The Orange County Register published the headline “At 88, Laguna Woods woman comes out.” The article covers much that the one-page essay in Newsweek could not — about Barr’s history with her partner, and the after-effects of the essay: the silence in her community, and the outpouring of support from strangers across the nation.

Thinking about coming out? Read my advice on the topic at FamiliesLikeMine.com.

Congratulations to Laura Smidzik who was honored tonight with the Brian Coyle Leadership Award at the HRC Twin Cities Dinner.

Laura recently served as Executive Director of Rainbow Families and her commitment to working with me and other adult queerspawn as colleagues lifted some significant barriers in our collaborative efforts. She leads by example in so many ways, among which is being open to listening to ideas and experiences that are not necessarily comforting to hear.

If you found my blog because of my JumboTron appearance tonight at the HRC dinner, welcome and thanks for searching me out! I was happy to share my reflections about Laura — with 1200 of her fans.

Quatrefoil Library (aka Q Library) is one of a few LGBT-specific libraries in the country. In the latest issue of the library’s newsletter, Karen Hogan, a longtime volunteer, offered her vision for where she sees Quatrefoil in ten years:

I see us in a bigger place…we will have a bank of computers, a coffee bar…we will host book clubs…Our Library will have more of a community feel and will be a gathering place — an alternative to the bars and political groups — that is also more than just books.

I also hope that my daughter is volunteering in 10 years. I hope that the Q can be a welcoming space for our queerspawn — to use Abigail Garner’s phrase for “culturally queer erotically straight” children of same-sex parents. I would like for these young adults to have a place at the Q.

Thanks Karen, for thinking about the long-term vision for your daughter and for all queerspawn. And thanks especially, for helping to push the idea into the collective consciousness.

The “Let California Ring” campaign has a very inspiring video online — with an equally inspiring soundtrack — to “start the conversation” among Californians about marriage equality.

Among the many powerful voices is Liam Cooper from the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, who refers to himself as “a kid of same-sex parents.”

Watch the video here.

This blog, as my readers know, rarely strays from my specific topic of addressing the intersection of LGBT issues and family issues. This post is an exception. Kind of.

At the age of 16, I was part of a life-shaping experience called Peace Child. I traveled with fifteen U.S.ers (and one Canadian) to the republic of Kazakhstan (now it’s own country since the USSR no longer exists) and performed a musical about peace with 15 Kazakh teens. The U.S. version of Peace Child has since disbanded, but Peace Child International still has various projects, such as this one in Tokyo.

I say that this post is “kind of” off topic because my involvement with the peace movement as a teen was still very much linked to being queerspawn. Like many kids of LGBT parents, I grew up with a strong sense of social justice for everyone, not just LGBT communities. I might not have felt safe as a teenager speaking out about equality for my family, but that didn’t stop me from singing my heart out about reaching out with love, not fear. (One of the songs in the musical, in fact, is called “Reach Out with Love.”)

That said, I am looking forward to the upcoming 25th reunion in Washington DC on December 1, 2007. It is for all the tours over the years, and I am trying to contact these “missing” alumni from my Kazakhstan 1988 tour:

Jennifer Wedel of Minnesota
Erik Anderson (from San Diego, went to Harvard)
Eric Gilmore of Sacramento
Ramaa Mosley of Ojai
John Beard of Roanoke
Stacey Panas of Santa Rosa, California
Erin McKenna of Rochester NY
Chris Allen of Laguna Niquel, California

Unfortunately, I am only guessing at the transliteration of my old friends from Kazakhstan, and I am lacking many last names:

Gouhara Kasimjanova(?)
Alyona
Saida Yerjanova
Julia Manorava/Manarova(?)
Sasha
Ira Pyatnitskaya (Irina)
Nariman Bashiktenov
Volodia Byelov (”Bob”)
Noorlan Maldajonov(?)
Iona
Marina
Derek
Amir
Olga
Elena

I am taking advantage of my high-ranking in search engines with hope that my old friends will Google their own name or “Peace Child Kazakhstan” to find this page.

If you are one of these people, or know one of these people, please click on the “contact” button above to get in touch. Regardless of your interest/ability to meet up in DC in December, please contact me.

You can also sign up for the all-alumni mailing list.

Amber Davis Tourelentes is interviewed in Bay Windows about her portraits of LGBT families, which are currently on display in conjunction with the documentary, “Same Sex America.”

For Tourelentes, who is expecting her second child with her husband, the family project resonates personally. Raised in part by her gay father and his partner in the South End, Tourelentes, 37, says she doesn’t “have those pictures in my own family album.” So taking portraits of families headed by LGBT people is “one of these fantasies I got to live out,” she says.

Read the article:
A Family Affair
by Ethan Jacobs and Susan Ryan-Vollmar
Bay Windows
September 6, 2007

Here is the portrait Amber took of me and The Dads.