Comments on: Guest Post for World AIDS Day http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2008/12/01/guest-post-alysia-abbott/ Culturally Queer News and Views from Abigail Garner Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:30:02 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: alysia abbott http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2008/12/01/guest-post-alysia-abbott/comment-page-1/#comment-6563 alysia abbott Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:20:40 +0000 http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/?p=689#comment-6563 <ul> i just saw MILK the movie finally tonight (great way to honor dad). it didn't exactly convey the SF of the 70s in all the ways that i knew it. i certainly spent more time in the playgrounds of golden gate park and the panhandle then i did at city hall. but i did feel the movie captured the excitement of that time, what it meant to be gay and find other men who shared your passion and sense of wonder for the future (preAIDS, of course.) after years spent in the closet as an irish catholic in lincoln, nebraska, my dad was like a kid in the candy store in the liberated 70s sf. there was lots of cruising, even with me at home. </ul> <ul> somehow what was most familiar in MILK was the interior of harvey's apartment. the flimsy drapes, the spider plant in the window, the from the street/second hand furniture-- this was like our apartment in the haight. </ul> <ul> as for personal memories of the events. i do remember not drinking OJ. and i also remember my school class writing condolence letters to mayor moscone's wife (i was in 3rd grade) but that's about it. no memories of the riots. no sense of what it all meant.</ul> <ul> still, i was really impressed with the movie -- actors, pacing, honestly, artfulness. </ul> <ul> cheers, a</ul> i just saw MILK the movie finally tonight (great way to honor dad). it didn’t exactly convey the SF of the 70s in all the ways that i knew it. i certainly spent more time in the playgrounds of golden gate park and the panhandle then i did at city hall. but i did feel the movie captured the excitement of that time, what it meant to be gay and find other men who shared your passion and sense of wonder for the future (preAIDS, of course.) after years spent in the closet as an irish catholic in lincoln, nebraska, my dad was like a kid in the candy store in the liberated 70s sf. there was lots of cruising, even with me at home.
    somehow what was most familiar in MILK was the interior of harvey’s apartment. the flimsy drapes, the spider plant in the window, the from the street/second hand furniture– this was like our apartment in the haight.
    as for personal memories of the events. i do remember not drinking OJ. and i also remember my school class writing condolence letters to mayor moscone’s wife (i was in 3rd grade) but that’s about it. no memories of the riots. no sense of what it all meant.
    still, i was really impressed with the movie — actors, pacing, honestly, artfulness.
    cheers,
    a
]]> By: Stefan Lynch Strassfeld http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2008/12/01/guest-post-alysia-abbott/comment-page-1/#comment-6561 Stefan Lynch Strassfeld Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:49:18 +0000 http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/?p=689#comment-6561 <ul> I saw Milk on Sunday at the Castro Theater with my partner and his family and 1,400 other people. I thought of you Alysia, and my friend Felicia, both of you grew up in SF during those years. My dad died in '91, and while we visited SF a few times as a kid, it wasn't home until I moved here in '93. I thought of you because although I only remember the events of Milk's life from afar, and from a kid's perspective: I don't remember his election - i barely remember his assassination when I was 6, but I totally remember not being allowed to drink orange juice for several years because Anita Bryant, the anti-gay crusader, was also the spokesperson for the Florida orange growers. And I really liked orange juice. </ul> <ul>Despite not growing up in SF, the movie was so evocative of the sense of that time: the excitement and passion of these young guys, coming out, falling in love, fucking and having passionate friendships - powerful friendships driven by attraction and activism and art and fear and disco and drugs and love - it was a thrilling mixture even though i had a 9pm bed time, 10 if it wasn't a school night. </ul> <ul>I also have my dad's journals in the basement which I have never read. Not sure I will now...some how Milk the Movie didn't make it all seem closer as much as the packaging and selling of his story made it seem more distant, especially sitting with my partner's family who hardly even knew the history, let alone feel connected to it...but also the memories more palatable for the packaging - the grief more containable within a finite, well-told 128 minutes. </ul> <ul>Good luck with those journals, Alysia.</ul> I saw Milk on Sunday at the Castro Theater with my partner and his family and 1,400 other people. I thought of you Alysia, and my friend Felicia, both of you grew up in SF during those years. My dad died in ‘91, and while we visited SF a few times as a kid, it wasn’t home until I moved here in ‘93. I thought of you because although I only remember the events of Milk’s life from afar, and from a kid’s perspective: I don’t remember his election – i barely remember his assassination when I was 6, but I totally remember not being allowed to drink orange juice for several years because Anita Bryant, the anti-gay crusader, was also the spokesperson for the Florida orange growers. And I really liked orange juice.
    Despite not growing up in SF, the movie was so evocative of the sense of that time: the excitement and passion of these young guys, coming out, falling in love, fucking and having passionate friendships – powerful friendships driven by attraction and activism and art and fear and disco and drugs and love – it was a thrilling mixture even though i had a 9pm bed time, 10 if it wasn’t a school night.
    I also have my dad’s journals in the basement which I have never read. Not sure I will now…some how Milk the Movie didn’t make it all seem closer as much as the packaging and selling of his story made it seem more distant, especially sitting with my partner’s family who hardly even knew the history, let alone feel connected to it…but also the memories more palatable for the packaging – the grief more containable within a finite, well-told 128 minutes.
    Good luck with those journals, Alysia.
]]> By: Jenny Laden http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2008/12/01/guest-post-alysia-abbott/comment-page-1/#comment-6560 Jenny Laden Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:20:55 +0000 http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/?p=689#comment-6560 Alysia and Abigail, thank you so much for this posting. I too have trouble knowing, year after year, how to best commemorate my father, who also died of AIDS, in 1996. This day always comes too quickly and right after thanksgiving, another reminder of family missed. So I cry a little and laugh a little and remind myself of his love and that he'd want me to enjoy life, be happy, healthy and fulfilled. Sometimes I, too, find it nice to be with or at least speak with people he knew and loved. This is how we remember. This is what we must do I guess. Alysia and Abigail, thank you so much for this posting.

I too have trouble knowing, year after year, how to best commemorate my father, who also died of AIDS, in 1996. This day always comes too quickly and right after thanksgiving, another reminder of family missed. So I cry a little and laugh a little and remind myself of his love and that he’d want me to enjoy life, be happy, healthy and fulfilled. Sometimes I, too, find it nice to be with or at least speak with people he knew and loved. This is how we remember. This is what we must do I guess.

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