Jul 12th, 2007
Gay Dad: “Relieved, hopeful, and thankful”
Thanks to E. who took the time to write me this message. I’m posting it here, not only because he gives a great testimony for Families Like Mine, but also because I think his long journey to parenthood will resonate with many dads reading this blog.
Dear Abigail,
My partner and I heard you speak at the Washington, DC annual Rainbow Families gathering in April. We were very moved by your presentation, and grateful for your participation in the day.
I just finished reading your book, and it made me cry. (And I don’t cry easily – unless Sally Field is involved.) Your insights and perspective were profound, for me, and I’m sure for countless others who have read, and will read, your words.
I am a gay dad, and my son is currently three years old. It took my partner 15 years to convince me to adopt, and I did so reluctantly. I grew up in the 60s and 70s and was led to believe by all I heard and saw that my sexuality not only defined me, but limited me. I did not believe I was worthy, capable, allowed or justified to raise a child, or children, even after having mine placed in my arms the day he was born. I’ve come a long way as a parent in the past few years. But there remained lingering doubts about my ability to prepare my son for his unusual road ahead.
After reading your book, I’m relieved, hopeful, and mostly thankful to have such an eloquent reference tool. As a GLBT person, and now parent, I cannot satisfactorily tell you how meaningful your book is, or how fortunate I feel to have you as an advocate.
(Only Sally Field and me? They like me, they really like me!)
This response emphasizes the importance of the definitive work that you have done in the past years, Abigail. The messages in Families Like Mine will always be new to someone. I agree with you, that it is important to have many spokespersons for queeer spawn. But the careful observations and documentations of the lives of queer spawn that you have reported and discussed in many arenas will continue to reverberate for years to come.
I encourage folks to take your book, Families Like Mine, off the shelf and really read it. The truths in it will not hurt, but encourage and give courage. It is a resource for framing the rewarding and challenging journey of LGBT parenting.
Best wishes!