Comments on: This was a serious inquiry http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2006/11/24/this-was-a-serious-inquiry/ Culturally Queer News and Views from Abigail Garner Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:30:02 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Abigail Garner http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2006/11/24/this-was-a-serious-inquiry/comment-page-1/#comment-2333 Abigail Garner Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:04:16 +0000 http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/?p=472#comment-2333 I wrote my response in the context of her question regarding those who <em>want</em> to get married but can't. I fully recognize that not all people in relationships want to be married. I am already on record as <a href="http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2006/08/03/in-good-company/">challenging marriage equality as an effective movement strategy</a> and <a href="http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2004/06/30/twenty-six-years/">expressing my ambivalence about the institution</a>. I wrote my response in the context of her question regarding those who want to get married but can’t. I fully recognize that not all people in relationships want to be married. I am already on record as challenging marriage equality as an effective movement strategy and expressing my ambivalence about the institution.

]]> By: yonah http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/2006/11/24/this-was-a-serious-inquiry/comment-page-1/#comment-2309 yonah Mon, 27 Nov 2006 14:47:44 +0000 http://damnstraight.oversampled.net/?p=472#comment-2309 "But it would be safe to assume that those people who are religious would like their relationships blessed in the eyes of their G-d in addition to the legal contract of marriage, and those who do not feel connected with a religion would like the more that 1000 rights and responsibilities that are automatic with marriage." i disagree. i'm second-generation queer and second-generation uninterested in marriage as an institution. of course it's ridiculous for certain people to be allowed to marry and then get tax breaks, visitation rights at hospitals, all the trappings of legal marriage - and for others to not be able to access those rights. but legal marriage itself is ridiculous. what does the government have to do with love? i'm all for love, all for having parties to celebrate love, all for finding names for those you love. but 'husband' and 'wife' are pretty limiting, and so are the ideas we have about what marriage looks like. "fuck marriage. let's make it up as we go along." - t-shirt slogan many lgbtq individuals and families prioritize fighting gender-based violence, institutionalized homophobia and transphobia inherent in our government's laws, being recognized as more than just folks with an eye for fashion or a straight man's sex fantasy. second-parent adoption is a priority for many queer parents. making transitioning [sex and gender changes] more accessible is a priority for transgendered/transsexual folks and our friends. others of us prioritize universal health care, an end to the war in iraq, many things - they all affect lgbtq people just as much as they do anyone else - and until everyone has affordable healthcare, it doesn't matter who does. we're only as rich as the poorest of the poor, sings phil ochs. there will always be someone who can't marry someone else - so why should anyone marry anyone? why don't we truly challenge our ideas of love and commitment and family, challenge our ideas about everything, and start over - make it up as we go along? “But it would be safe to assume that those people who are religious would like their relationships blessed in the eyes of their G-d in addition to the legal contract of marriage, and those who do not feel connected with a religion would like the more that 1000 rights and responsibilities that are automatic with marriage.”

i disagree. i’m second-generation queer and second-generation uninterested in marriage as an institution.

of course it’s ridiculous for certain people to be allowed to marry and then get tax breaks, visitation rights at hospitals, all the trappings of legal marriage – and for others to not be able to access those rights.

but legal marriage itself is ridiculous. what does the government have to do with love? i’m all for love, all for having parties to celebrate love, all for finding names for those you love. but ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ are pretty limiting, and so are the ideas we have about what marriage looks like.

“fuck marriage. let’s make it up as we go along.”
- t-shirt slogan

many lgbtq individuals and families prioritize fighting gender-based violence, institutionalized homophobia and transphobia inherent in our government’s laws, being recognized as more than just folks with an eye for fashion or a straight man’s sex fantasy. second-parent adoption is a priority for many queer parents. making transitioning [sex and gender changes] more accessible is a priority for transgendered/transsexual folks and our friends. others of us prioritize universal health care, an end to the war in iraq, many things – they all affect lgbtq people just as much as they do anyone else – and until everyone has affordable healthcare, it doesn’t matter who does. we’re only as rich as the poorest of the poor, sings phil ochs. there will always be someone who can’t marry someone else – so why should anyone marry anyone? why don’t we truly challenge our ideas of love and commitment and family, challenge our ideas about everything, and start over – make it up as we go along?

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