Comments on: Early Graduation: Something to Prove?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 16:51:46 +0000

Bssed on my experience in my on-going role as Mom, I support the idea that queerspawn have lower intolerance for repressive environments. Both of my adult children have been in the past, and continue to be, able to identify repressive environments long before I begin to analyze a situation.

By: Jon

Jon — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:50:34 +0000

My brother and I both graduated a year early. Both of us HATED traditional high school and went to an alternative school in NYC where you could get credits for working. Did it prepare me for college? No, but at least I was out of the minimum security prison that passed for an educational institution. Maybe queerspawn have a lower tolerance for repressive environments and will do whatever is necessary to escape them.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 01:44:34 +0000

As the mom of queerspawn and a passionate educator, this discussion is of high interest to me. I amwondering if more of you have stories about “running away” from high school to tell. I do think this is indicative of two things. One, that our high schools have been negligent in providing challenging programs, both academically and socially for our most capable and mature students. Secondly, queerspawn, because of life experiences have developed a social maturity and perception to see that the coming-of-age-rites that many high schools perpetuate are not very meaningful and very likely to be classist, sexist and and unjust, as well as economically and socially irresponsible. Neither of my kids shed a tear upon leaving high school, and both found ways to shorten their time there.
Are there more similar stories out there?

By: Meema

Meema — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 00:39:39 +0000

Weird! I graduated from high school early! Not that early, but I certainly did leave midway through my senior year when I realized that I had enough credits. I HATED high school w/ a passion — it was an uptight, judgmental, conservative and thoroughly homophobic place. I was thrilled to be out of there….

-Meema

By: Kristin

Kristin — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 23:53:16 +0000

I started elementary school early (age 4) and was selected to take all gifted, honors, and AP classes…

I dual-enrolled in 10th & 11th grade and then just decided I was “done with high school” so I early admitted to university and lived on campus in a dorm for what would have been my senior year.

Though I took the “normal” 4 years for my undergraduate degree, I earned a major (psych) and 3 minors (sociology, women’s & gender studies, and religion) and was just a few credits shy of minors in anthropology & philosophy too.

Still on the fast track I went straight to grad school and earned my MA in 1.5 years and my PhD in 3, finishing my Ph.D. at age 25 (which apparently was some sort of record). The entire time I was working 3 part-time jobs to make ends meet as I had become financially independent when I left home to early admit at age 16… I was also volunteering at a bunch of nonprofits as I was passionate about human rights & social justice (I still am).

Looking back now, I do not feel like this was an achievement or something to be particularly proud of. I was always an overachiever and always in a rush– its just sort of who I am. My parents never pressured me regarding school, in fact, they were so caught up in their own pain, they barely acknowledged my achievements.

At the time, if you would have asked me whether my dad being gay had anything to do with my rush through school, I’d have said no. By the time I was nearing the end of high school I was no longer bullied or harassed about having a gay dad - or if I was, it was done behind my back. I was tired of the immaturity of some of my high school peers and looked forward to college… I basically just decided I wanted to be independent, and figured that going to college would be a good (socially acceptable) way to do so.

I now realize that though I was friends with the “popular” crowd, I never felt like I belonged and I was really uncomfortable with all of the heterosexist rituals like homecoming court and prom. I somehow made it through high school without going to a single prom and only one homecoming dance (I’d been elected to court and going to the dance was required… I protested in my own way by refusing to wear hose & heels and instead wore birkenstocks with my gown). So, yeah, I too was running away…

As I began to type this reply, the line “kids of queers have to be exceptional to earn the label ‘normal.’” kept echoing in my mind. Somehow I had forgotten that for the first half of my life (I turn 30 next month), I spent a lot of energy trying to be — not just normal– but perfect.

I wanted to be liked and accepted… and if it felt safe, I might disclose that my dad was gay, and hope that instead of ostracizing me, they’d change their assumptions about gay people (and kids of gay people) if I could just prove them wrong…

Now that I’ve actually typed this out - I must admit that my parents’ divorce and my dad being gay were not unrelated to my determination (at times unhealthy) & drive to achieve.

By: Les

Les — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:11:21 +0000

I started college part time at 12, though continued to go to high school until I was 15. I’m sure it had a LOT to do with wanting to get into an environment where I was less isolated. But that wasn’t just having a lesbian mom…it was having a lesbian mom whose partner taught at the school I attended (yes, she taught phys ed) and being second generation and being less affluent than my prep school classmates.

I felt pressure to excel, not so much as a queerspawn, but as an adoptee and as a daughter of a divorced mom. Queerspawn wasn’t on the radar. But then again, as someone born in 1967, I didn’t have a peer group of “raised without dad”, regardless of the reasons why a family might not include a father.