Sep 26th, 2006
From a Gay Dad in Australia
One of my biggest frustrations is parent organizers who say they have read my book, but obviously have not. So when a gay parent contacts me about how he is applying what he learned from my book…well, it makes my day feel a lot lighter.
Hey Abigail
Just 10 minutes ago I finished reading your book “Families Like Mine“.
Thank you so much for writing it. It has changed my perspective, and hopefully will make me a better father to my two kids.
I help organise a Gay Dads Group in Sydney and tonight we are holding an info night with the feature being a panel of adult kids of LGBT parents.
As host, I want you to know that your words and advice have helped me be aware and ensure this event and the 6 participants [speaking on the panel] are given the new found respect that they deserve.
Thank you for helping make that shift.
The “shift” he’s talking about, is about how kids of gay parents get conditioned to give the “right” answers about their lives rather than the “real” answers when speaking publicly or in the media. My book challenges the expectation that queerspawn who speak up should be cheerleaders for “the cause.” Few parent groups are open to hearing a message from queerspawn other than how fantastic it was to have gay parents, and kids who dare talk about anything less than a queer Disney-ish upbringing are given a chilly reception and not invited back. Instead, those children are written off as “ungrateful” or “homophobic” or “having issues.”
I am grateful to this dad for being open to new possibilities, and for sharing his “shift” with me. The panelists will feel safer to talk more honestly, and the parent audience will get more out of the experience.