Family Pride Coalition and COLAGE are co-sponsoring a national conference in Dallas, October 27-29, 2006. The registration deadline is Monday.

If you have/had gay/LGBT/queer parents and you have ever thought about what it would be like to hang out with a bunch of other folks who did too, now is your chance. There are plenty of opportunities to help with workshops and activities for the little ones if you want to, but there will also be adult break-out/discussion groups. Until recently the only “place” for adult queerspawn has been as group facilitators, camp counselors and day care workers for the next generation. While that’s convenient for LGBT parents and can be very meaningful for the younger set, it does not serve adult queerspawn who are more interested in connecting with their own age peers than being role models.

I cannot stress enough what an investment this conference could be on your personal journey, regardless of “where you’re at” right now. Sign up is here.

Be aware: Family Pride’s registration/promotional material is very parent-focused and could leave an “adult child” wondering if it’s appropriate for them to be there. Just take for example, the heading for the registration form:

The sign-up form refers to the event as a “National Parenting Conference.” One could argue that the wording on an intake form is minor, but LGBT parents more than anyone should be sensitive to what non-inclusive intake forms communicate to those who are wondering how welcomed they would be at the actual event.

What’s more, although this conference is billed as a collaboration between COLAGE and Family Pride, the registration is targeted to queer people raising children. Queerspawn apparently are supposed to register under the ubiquitous category of “individual — adults coming by themselves.” But the individual rate is a catch-all category really, which could also mean a single prospective parent exploring acquisition options, yes? Or a family therapist there for professional training, or….? It also once again demonstrates the short-sightedness in community building and organizing in the “LGBT Family community.” Some queerspawn have children and spouses…yet is it presumed if they are coming to a conference like this they will leave their spouses and kids at home? I don’t think this is intentional exclusion. I just don’t think that most parent planners — the vast majority have young kids — have not thought this far into their own future.

That said, DO NOT overlook filling this in:

That’s really the only way you will be referred to COLAGE. (Although if we are adults, why is our age necessary?) If you leave this space blank, you will remain an invisible queerspawn presumed to be a queer parent. Then the other parents will be asking you if your partner came along, how old your kids are, how they are doing in school, if you used a known donor…

After you sign up, book your flight. Cheap flights still available, if you book soon. Also if you contact meredith@colage.org, she can hook you up with a listserve that had been developed to help conference-goers connect with each other ahead of time. Limited scholarship funds may be available. Contact COLAGE for more information.

I assure you that COLAGE is very involved with this conference, even if the official conference material on Family Pride’s website does not reflect that.

So I return to the broader question I’ve been asking for years: Where do kids “fit” into the LGBT community once they are grown? If the national LGBT parenting organization is not intentional about including adult children, will we ever be able to expect local communities to figure it out?

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