Jul 20th, 2006
Famous Massachusetts Moms Separate
Regardless of sexual orientation, relationships change — sometimes to the point of separation or divorce.
Bay Windows reports that Julie and Hillary Goodridge have separated. You might not remember their names, but you do know them. They were the lead plaintive couple in Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health which led to legalized marriage for same-sex couples in Massachusetts.
Anti-gay talking heads will say this “proves” gays don’t take the sanctity of marriage seriously. But if the Goodridge separation proves anything it proves how important is is to legally recognize couples raising children — not only when that couple is together, but also when — especially when– they decide to dissolve their relationship.
Countless of children with same sex couples lose all contact with one of their parents after a break up because that parent is ruled a legal stranger. Children with married parents have the legal system backing them up to ensure they receive all the rights and benefits that come along with having legally recognized relationships with their parents — including the right to maintain those relationships.
Right now, my thoughts are with their ten year old daughter. I’m rooting for you, Annie.
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Related reading in my book:
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Same-sex parents breaking up and co-parenting their children in Families Like Mine, pp. 79-94
Related reading on my blog:
For better or worse, divorce is a benefit of marriage. People who make the marital commitment are taking on both rights/benefits and responsibilities to each other, some of which become active only when the relationship ends due to death or divorce.
My heart goes out to all of the Goodriches, in hopes that they can care for Annie, themselves, and each other in this difficult time.
You mention that an important aspect of marriage equality is that ensures that kids & their parents will have the right to have a relationship after a divorce. But another thing marriage equality does for the kids is make it much clearer that both parents are still legally responsible for maintaining that relationship and supporting the kids after the divorce.