Mar 24th, 2006
Last night’s guests on Fresh Fruit
Last night’s broadcast of Fresh Fruit is temporarily archived until April 6th on the KFAI website.
Click here to listen. [expired]
My guests:
Dhillon Khosla, author of Both Sides Now: One Man’s Journey Through Womanhood.
Dhillon was born with a woman’s body, but he does not identify as transgender — he identifies as a man. (If you are wondering about the extra “h” in his first name, he is part Indian, and Dhillon is a common Indian name.)
Utah State Senator Scott McCoy is the only openly gay senator in the state. He was appointed to the position and when State Senator Buttars, a Republican, heard the news he replied, “The Gay?” Here was Senator McCoy’s retort:
So the Senator with a sense of humor and a snappy-comeback license plate is running for another term.
Here’s the Blog-Readers’ Behind-the-Scenes Bonus: Initially, I had arranged to talk to him from his home phone, but he was running behind and I caught up with him on his cell phone while he was in traffic. Cell phone connections are even less reliable over the radio, so the ever-resourceful Senator pulled over and called in from the courtesy phone at a Target! If you listen closely you can hear background noise, but I would have just thought it was a busy office if he hadn’t told me after the fact.
Finally, Laura Smidzik, Executive Director of Rainbow Families, talked about how fair-minded Minnesotans are organizing to stop the Marriage Amendment, and she and I ruminate on the anti-gay strategies behind Right-Wing rhetoric.
Tracks played during the hour:
“Wake up to Mary” by Dhillon Khosla from his CD, “The Temple”
“True Colors” by pianist George Skaroulis (vocals by Kevin Lawson) from the CD “Forever Young”
“Backs Against the Wall” by Georgie Jessup, from the CD “Woman in a Man’s Suit”
I enjoyed the interview with Dhillon Khosla and I enjoyed his song. I must say I have a bit of a different view as a woman with a transsexual history. While I certainly understand where Dhillon is coming from my experience is very different. While I am always taken for a women on the streets I did not cut off my family and old friends and all of them know my history and knew me ‘when’. For bio born women the transition is often a very successful one on the out side for public view. They have the added advantage of their voice becoming deeper as the male hormones kick in. The vocal chord can get deeper but not lighter or higher in the case of a male to female transwoman. Many have success changing their voices somewhat for talking and there is a surgery that can shave the vocal chord somewhat. For me that was not an option because I could very well have lost my ability to sing. So while I could “pass” and simply be a woman when not performing, once I opened my mouth and sung anyone could pretty much figure the rest of the story out. Dhillon does not have that problem and that is good for him.
My situation forced me to question what it meant to be a man or a woman and frankly there is no definition. When I first came out the gay and lesbian community did not have a very high opinion of TG folks. Instead of wondering why they had that attitude I tried to understand their prejudice. Very few lesbian bio woman will have a relationship with a Tg woman. If they do too many questions enter into the picture. Are they still lesbians if they are attracted to a transwoman. Are they straight because this was a person who was born male. It makes them as uneasy as it does straight people and straight people ask the same questions of themselves if they are considering a relationship with a transwoman or transman. Personally I think from the lesbian community it is because transwomen start out becoming a man’s idea of what it means to be a woman. That is why many transwomen try to be very fem and change their voice so drastically. But like a thirteen year old who is coming of age transwomen are flattered when a big dumb ass trucker blows his horn. this mean you are doing something right. It took me a long time to grow out of this stage.
At some point, mainly through my understanding of native american spiritual beliefs, I realized that there is nothing set in stone when it comes to what it means to be a woman or a man. Why do we change our bodies then he asked? Because we can. We are not gay men no more than gay men are transsexuals. we are not motivated by who we sleep with. Everyone has a comfort level but one of the lessons being trans has taught me is the we can’t afford to limit ourselves on that level. It take a pretty courageous man or woman, straight or gay to be with a transsexual individual in this culture. It was not that way in traditional cultures through out the world including germanic cultures before the Roman-Chrsitian Empire’s invasion to dominate the world.
When I was a child growing up in the Christian world I thought I was the devil him/her self. But through a chance meeting with Lakota holy man Frank Fools Crow I began to understand that with every burden there is a gift. The greater the burden the greater the gift! As a boy and man I was as normal in every way except one thing. The only way as a child that I knew how to explain it was to say it felt like I was a girl trapped in a boys body. How much of that is a cultural thing and how much is biological can be debated forever. The truth is we don’t understand the mystery anymore than the straight and GLB people do. We really don’t know why we are the way we are. It is a mystery. When we do the work and understand that we are a mystery. That is what made it a sacred thing to traditional people. As mature transfolks, and I prefer the Lakota word winkte, we are no longer trying to understand the mystery but realize that we are the mystery! It is worth noting that the Lakota word for God, Wakan Tanka has been translated as Great Spirit but a more accurate translation would be Great Mystery! This is according to most teachers I know.
The fact is I may be a woman now and I may have always been a woman but my experience was that I was born in a male body that make my life much different than a woman who got to grow up in a woman’s body. Should that be held against us? Absolutely not but it is a fact. We are the Mystery. It is time we held our heads high and claimed our place of power in the world so we can give back to the “people”. Anyone with any gift should strive to do the same!
Aho Mitakuye Oyasin,
Georgie Jessup (aka Donnerlieschen or Beautiful Thunder)