Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is a source of inspiration and hope for many kids of queer parents. At gatherings and in their writings, it’s common for queerspawn from all backgrounds to refer to his words and ideas of equality through non-violence. ( Marina Gatto’s website, for example.) It is comforting to know that King worked against the grain and moved so many people to join him in the struggle. I share with many other queerspawn a deep reverence for his lifetime commitment to make change and live life with dignity.

I am sensitive to the fact that it is not fair for one oppressed population to co-opt the experiences of another oppressed population. It is offensive and off-putting when, for example, a white gay man smugly declares, “We refuse to sit in the back of bus anymore!” Nevertheless, the history of oppression has patterns and similarities that newer civil rights movements can learn from. (That’s an important distinction from declaring “It’s the exact same thing.”)

Taped to my computer monitor is a quote from a 1967 speech by Martin Luther King Jr.:

You may be thirty-eight years old, as I happen to be, and one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls upon you to stand up for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause. And you refuse to do it because you are afraid. You refuse to do it because you want to live longer. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab you or shoot at you or bomb your house. So you refuse to take the stand. Well, you may go on and live until you are ninety, but you are just as dead at thirty-eight as you would be at ninety. And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit. You died when you refused to stand up for right. You died when you refused to stand up for truth. You died when you refused to stand up for justice ….

I put this excerpt where I could see it every day soon after my writing began to prompt people to send me hate mail. I needed to remind myself that I would not allow fear to dictate my choices.

I’m not saying King always chose courage over fear; the squandering of Bayard Rustin’s potential is an example of when fear prevailed over doing the right thing. I can’t help but wonder how much farther along the equality movement could be if Rustin had been “out” on the frontlines. But it’s not fair for me to make a 2005 judgement on how this issue was handled in the 1960’s…especially since homosexuality was officially deemed a mental illness until 1973. But had Dr. King lived in another time, I would like to believe he would have spoken up for equality regardless of sexual orientation, just as his widow, Coretta Scott King and children have chosen to do. (Correction 1/18/2006: not all of his children agree with their mother on equality regardless of sexual orientation. See this story from Minnesota Public Radio.)

Finally, what would Dr. King have to say about children NOT going to school on his birthday observed? I don’t imagine that the man who championed accessible education for all would be thrilled to have young people “honoring” him by sleeping in. Three cheers to parents who actually go out and DO SOMETHING with their children to honor King’s legacy. Whether that be a community celebration/march or a community service activity, it’s important for kids to see this day as not just another three-day weekend.

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