Last night’s episode of Law and Order SVU addressed the destructive spiral of meth and unprotected sex that is known to be associated with circuit parties. This subject matter could have been easily distorted and exploited, but the writers did good work, leaving a lot of grey area for distinguishing right from wrong.

Here’s the PFLAG angle: While investigating murder suspects at a gay bar, one of the detectives (Ice-T) sees his son’s name on the guest list from the previous night. He goes to his son’s apartment, and when his son says he has “company,” Ice-T asks if the “company” is a man.  The son says yes, he’s gay.  It was clunky dialogue, but I don’t suppose any kid outed to an estranged father is going to be eloquent.

In the real world vs. TV world comparison, I want to comment on two interactions.

1) After learning about the culture of meth use and unprotected sex, Ice-T’s confrontation with his son is ONLY about his son being gay. New York detectives see plenty of what makes people turn to drugs and destructive sex, namely a feeling of worthlessness. Ice-T’s son is fortunately a smart, strong young man, with or without his dad, but it wouldn’t hurt if his dad focused his concern on his son being healthy and meth-free, rather than his son’s sexuality.

2) In the final scene, Ice-T speaks with a man whose gay son is now dead.  The grieving father says he would do anything to have another chance with his son. He walks away, and the credits begin just as Ice-T reaches for his cell phone, presumably to call his son.  The missing dialogue?  Ice-T telling the other father that thanks to him, he realizes that he DOES have a second chance with his gay son. Had Ice-T said something, the other dad would have had a beautiful moment of redemption. Instead, Ice-T says nothing, and the other father walks away, just as isolated as before.

I know: such Touched-by-a-PFLAGer dialogue would not work for Law and Order, which usually ends every episode on a low note of “life sucks and so does the system.” (YET I KEEP WATCHING…) But in real life, it takes so little to tell someone how by opening up about their lives, they helped you with your own life. I see it over and over again in the PFLAG circles, and it goes a long way to inspire people to continue to inspire others.

Who has inspired you to be out?  To be proud of your LGBT children? To stand up to that homophobic boss? To follow your dream of becoming a parent? To start a GSA? Take the time to tell them how they made a difference in your life.

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