Mar 28th, 2005
Just the Facts(?)
Today’s edition of the St. Paul Pioneer Press published a letter I wrote in reaction to its article about the new fire chief in Minneapolis, who also happens to be a lesbian mother. For those of you not registered on their site, here’s the letter in full:
“We are Family”
I appreciated Kay Harvey’s March 20 profile of new Minneapolis Fire Chief Bonnie Bleskachek (”Barriers didn’t keep fire chief from climbing career ladder”). However, what was otherwise an excellent article ended with a curious contradiction. The run-down of quick facts on Bleskachek listed “family” as just her two children. Bleskachek is openly lesbian, but her partner — who was mentioned elsewhere in the article — was omitted from the list of family members.
Regardless of gender or any legal interpretations of the definition of family, the individual with whom a person shares her home, children and life is indeed “family.” Every member in Bleskachek’s family deserved the respect to be recognized as such.
Abigail Garner
Minneapolis
The writer is an advocate for children of gay and lesbian parents.
It’s important to note that the reporter, Kay Harvey, did not omit the spouse out of homo-hostility. I called her and she told me she did not mention Bleskachek’s partner by name at the request of the partner herself, who wants to keep a low profile despite the community’s media coverage of Bleskachek. Harvey thought it would be awkward to simply write “and her partner” on the family line after naming the kids. But I asked her about what she would do if Bleskachek was married to a man who did not want his name to be used. Harvey paused and said she would have probably put “and her husband.”
I was almost certain the omission was not intended to be vicious, especially since a few years ago she interviewed me over a cup of tea in my kitchen. The result was a sensitive article about my activism and my family.
I’m sure the detail I pointed out in my letter went unnoticed by the vast majority of subscribers, and that’s the point. You can’t see gay/lesbian families when they are made invisible. But I noticed the omission right away, and said out loud, “WHAT?” I thought about her kids reading the article, so proud of Mom the Fire Chief, and then realizing that their other parent was excluded from their “family.”
Thinking about how these children might feel, I decided this was a “teachable moment” I could not pass up.
Way to go, girl!! I had thought the
same thing about the fire chief story. How demeaning to her partner!
I’m glad you took the opportunity to point it out, Abigail. I try also to take every opportunity presented to me to educate others!
If you only knew how off base you are about all your assumptions here… I’m certain her kids have other things to worry about.
Mary