Aug 8th, 2004
Parents are dorks. And that’s okay.
In collaboration with Family Pride Coalition, I recently gave two talks at Family Week in Provincetown, the annual gathering that brings together hundreds of families for fun, networking and bonding. My appearances were funded by a grant from the Loft Literary Center to help me reach key audiences for Families Like Mine.
Many of the questions parents asked me in P-Town had to do with worries about being perceived as “bad” LGBT parents based on other people’s judgments of our families. Here are a few reminders I stressed with my audiences at Family Week, because they are worth repeating:
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* Your “success” as a parent is not dependent on your child’s interest in becoming an activist for LGBT rights. Not all kids are cut out to talk to the media or stand up to a homophobic teacher. Your child’s
interest or lack of interest in speaking up publicly is not an indicator of anything you have done “right” or “wrong.”
* Your “success” as a parent should never be measured by your children “turning out” to be heterosexual. Some kids will identify as straight. Others will identify as LGBT. Yes, some people will judge you based on the children’s sexual orientation. But what matters most is that your children know you support them, no matter how they “turn out.”
* Don’t always assume that your teenagers’ embarrassment to be seen with you is because of your sexual orientation. It could just be because you are their *parents.* It’s practically a developmental requirement for teenagers to go through a stage when they think their parents are total dorks.
So please, parents: Be gentle with yourselves, and embrace your inner dork.