I was driving in to work today and I heard your show on the Diane Rehm show. I wanted to write and say thank you. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my father explained to me about who he was when I was about 9. Of course I was so young and didn’t understand exactly what that meant.
On the other side of my life was my Mother; and years later my Step-Father. They are both very religious and I’ve always been told all my life that my father is a sinner and even though I am to love him and respect him as my father, I have to pray for his soul because he and his lover are going to hell. I’m sure that you can imagine some of the emotional quandaries that I’ve dealt with throughout my life. I’ve been in the Navy now for almost 9 years and have a very successful life and a great relationship with my Mother, my step-brothers, and my 3 dads. However, being able to discuss my feelings about my Father’s lifestyle, my Mother’s beliefs, and what it has meant for me is difficult due to the closed-mindedness of the military. There was even a scare when I joined about how me coming from a gay parent could effect my ability to gain a security clearance in the Navy; which is very important to my job.
All of this has allowed me to grow up and develop into a man with a very open mind who is able to accept people for who they are no matter their color, religion, or their sexual orientation. I love my father’s partner like he was a father; they’ve been together for about 12 years. His previous partners weren’t all that great. What all of this is leading up to is me saying “thank you” for doing your research and getting it out there to help and counsel other people through their own specific situations. I haven’t bought your book yet as I only discovered it existed today but I will.
I am listening to your interview with Diane Rehm as I write and want to commend you on your work and advocacy. You are amazingly articulate and you bring a refeshing voice of reason to these issues. I would love to hear you debate Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson on this issue–or better yet, George Bush.
Wonderful show! I am so glad to have found you. I am planning to go out and buy your book. I am a gay man/father. I have a very long story that I would love to share with you if you are interested. Your story gives me hope for my son who is 8 and my daughter with my partner who is 9 months old. Thank you again.
I just happened to keep NPR on this morning instead of going on about my work – and am so happy that I did. You were absolutely fantastic on the Diane Rehm show. I know many people who listen to the program, and I am certain you gave them many new insights.
I’m so gladdened that you’re out there, as people will certainly be more likely to listen to you and your experiences rather than me, a lesbian. Members of my own family subscribe to the “love the sinner, hate the sin” philosophy, though I am fortunate to have several siblings that would fight to the death for my rights.
I do find that my nieces and nephews (I’m 56, so these “kids” are in their late teens and early twenties) are much more accepting and open and supportive than some of the older folks in my family. I like to think that it’s because they’ve known “Aunt Mary” all their lives, and when they finally figured out that I’m gay, they also figured it didn’t change anything about the way I love and treat them.
Anyway……………..I didn’t want this to be about me, but about what a wonderful job you’re doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I imagine I’m the millionth expression of gratitude, but I had to write to say thank you for the spot on WAMU, writing the book, and for being such a loving and articulate voice regarding family issues. I am a straight parent with many gay friends, some of whom are parents, some not. I think of two lesbian families I know as model parents who have taught me so much by example about how to nurture children, how to listen, how to attend to them. I know their children have benefited from living in homes with such loving and intentional parenting. Further, by example, they have been a blessing to me, and because of them I have become a better parent. Love ripples in many directions.
I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were brilliant in your interview with Dianne, so articulate and honest. You left no question unanswered while also answering questions and addressing points that hadn’t been asked (and needed to be addressed).
Our office administrator and I were yelling and clapping out loud at all of your dead-on responses! I am so happy that you were able to reach such a large amount of people with your message, one that so badly needs to be heard far and wide.
I listened to your recent interveiw with Diane Rehm this morning, and enjoyed the program tremendously. I have been searching for people like yourself who were brought up by gay parents to learn your experiences. Thank you for speaking up so eloquently and compellingly for others like yourself. I shall find try to find your book.
As for myself, I am a gay man, 32 years old. I’ve been with my partner now for over 5 years. He is 28 y.o. We have good relationships with our families and within the larger community in which we live. We are stable and have begun to talk seriously about adopting. Before hearing your interview, however, I must admit to having reservations myself about whether we should adopt; not because we wouldn’t make good parents, but for my lack of understanding and first-hand knowledge of how the child we might adopt “turn out”. As you alluded during the show: people (including myself) are just so unfamiliar with any other “paradigms” of bringing up children. I need to know that the child will be OK. I’ve had a wonderful upbringing and so did my partner, but I have to admit to some hesitation to whether a child brought up “untraditionally” by two gay parents would be well adjusted, despite our all the love, stability and care we would provide, and our best attempt to expose the a child to a diverse lifestyle, both gay and heterosexual. I hope this does not come across to you that I have some remaining self-loathing about myself. I believe I am quite well adjusted myself. But I feel it would help me a great deal to learn more about the experience of people like yourself, both the positives and negatives.
Therefore, could you provide me with some additional resources and information (aside from your book, of course), on studies or personal accounts on children raised by gay people? As a scientist, I would be very interested in long-term sociological studies from reputable sources. I would like to form my own opinion ultimately. In my research thus far, I feel that I want more breadth in the resources I’m tapping into. I would very much appreciate any advice you might have.
Hello, I just finished listening to your segment on the Diane Rehm’s show, and I applaud you. When I was 15 my mother and Step-father divorced, and two years later my mother came out as a lesbian. At first the shock was hard to get over, but once I accepted it, I was able to see my mother’s happiness. For my siblings, who were heavily under the influence of my step-father’s homophobias, it was harder to accept. Eventually my mother’s choice tore my family apart. Both my siblings are older now, smarter and more mature, and they too recognize that my mother is the same person as she always has been, except now she’s happy.
The events of the country in regards to gay marriage has both broke my heart and angered me beyond belief. I applaud you for writing your book, making people understand what they refuse to see on their own. I can only hope and pray that someday, everyone, including homosexuals, in this country can be treated the same.
I just heard your interview on The Diane Rehm Show today, April 9, and I am thoroughly impressed. Your responses were clear, well-spoken, and right on! I was especially happy to hear your response to the man who asked if kids were better off in male-female headed households. The assumption that a married couple automatically loves each other and their children and are capable of providing a happy, healthy family is just as untrue as a gay couple necessarily raising a defunct family. Love is the key, not sex (or even gender).
Also, your response to why you chose young adults instead of teenagers was wonderful. I am 24, and clearly remember using self-defense tactics – lying – to protect myself, my friends, and my family. What kid doesn’t?
Thank you very much for providing an excellent voice to the rising chorus working for gay rights. I look forward to hearing you speak again.
Thank you so much for doing the interview on The Diane Rehm Show on NPR. I have been sorting through my thoughts & feelings & moral stand on the “civil unions issue”, and it is good to hear your ideas. I have not taken a lot of time to research the issue, but I have been waiting for more people like you to start speaking out. You are articulate and intelligent. While I consider myself a born again Christian and Republican (and married no less!), I really believe that if same-sex marriage is not legalized, then, at least, Civil Unions should be.
This is not something I need to struggle spiritually about. I agree with your assessment of how our culture still supports hate speech and homophobia. Until we can offer equality to gays, lesbians and children who are raised by them, we, as a country, fail to live as compassionate supporters of human and civil rights.
Good luck and God bless. I will pass along your web site to friends.
Hi Abigale, I heard your interview on the Diane Rheem show today and I love the work you are doing to de-stigmatize the gay community. We admire your liason/activism, advocating for normalization of gay families.
I’m a 57 year old straight, family-man with two straight kids. We’ve raised our kids to be accepting of the gay community and have always appreciated the unique, loving, humorous, and aesthetic qualities that gay people contribute to society.
Last year Diane Rheem interviewed an African American woman who had written a book about the traditional village she grew up in Africa and when Diane asked her about gays she said that they had always been revered as “the keepers of the sacred love” in the community. America is missing out on a great social benefit because of its misunderstanding, fear, and intollerance.
I heard your interview with Diane Reame and loved it. Your experiences have made you extremely articulate, concise, passionate, and educated about a population of folks/families that deserve more of our respect and time.
Abigail, I heard you on the Diane Reim Show a couple weeks ago and I’m excited to read your book. Given the hype going on in Massachusetts and the horrible things we’ve been hearing in NH about gay families and the children in gay families your message is soooo important to get out.
Thank you for your time and for your great work on this book! As my partner and I plan to start our family I’m hopeful that your book will help us understand what it is like to be a child with gay parents and become better parents ourselves.
Hope the tour is going well. I did catch the end of your interview with Diane R. on NPR.
Great job on the book! I’m about 3/4 of the way through. So much good information. Too bad we didn’t have it 15 years ago! I certainly would have done some things differently, but on the whole I think I didn’t do such a bad job! :-) Your style is so eazy to read, informative and cogent. Kind of like a good novel. :-) What are you going to write next?
I heard you speak on the Diane Reem show. I am a 61 year old gay man who has recently come out, kinda, LOL to my son. It only took $5000.00 in therapy to accept the man whom I am.
I was driving in to work today and I heard your show on the Diane Rehm show. I wanted to write and say thank you. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my father explained to me about who he was when I was about 9. Of course I was so young and didn’t understand exactly what that meant.
On the other side of my life was my Mother; and years later my Step-Father. They are both very religious and I’ve always been told all my life that my father is a sinner and even though I am to love him and respect him as my father, I have to pray for his soul because he and his lover are going to hell. I’m sure that you can imagine some of the emotional quandaries that I’ve dealt with throughout my life. I’ve been in the Navy now for almost 9 years and have a very successful life and a great relationship with my Mother, my step-brothers, and my 3 dads. However, being able to discuss my feelings about my Father’s lifestyle, my Mother’s beliefs, and what it has meant for me is difficult due to the closed-mindedness of the military. There was even a scare when I joined about how me coming from a gay parent could effect my ability to gain a security clearance in the Navy; which is very important to my job.
All of this has allowed me to grow up and develop into a man with a very open mind who is able to accept people for who they are no matter their color, religion, or their sexual orientation. I love my father’s partner like he was a father; they’ve been together for about 12 years. His previous partners weren’t all that great. What all of this is leading up to is me saying “thank you” for doing your research and getting it out there to help and counsel other people through their own specific situations. I haven’t bought your book yet as I only discovered it existed today but I will.
I am listening to your interview with Diane Rehm as I write and want to commend you on your work and advocacy. You are amazingly articulate and you bring a refeshing voice of reason to these issues. I would love to hear you debate Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson on this issue–or better yet, George Bush.
Keep up the good work!
Wonderful show! I am so glad to have found you. I am planning to go out and buy your book. I am a gay man/father. I have a very long story that I would love to share with you if you are interested. Your story gives me hope for my son who is 8 and my daughter with my partner who is 9 months old. Thank you again.
I just happened to keep NPR on this morning instead of going on about my work – and am so happy that I did. You were absolutely fantastic on the Diane Rehm show. I know many people who listen to the program, and I am certain you gave them many new insights.
I’m so gladdened that you’re out there, as people will certainly be more likely to listen to you and your experiences rather than me, a lesbian. Members of my own family subscribe to the “love the sinner, hate the sin” philosophy, though I am fortunate to have several siblings that would fight to the death for my rights.
I do find that my nieces and nephews (I’m 56, so these “kids” are in their late teens and early twenties) are much more accepting and open and supportive than some of the older folks in my family. I like to think that it’s because they’ve known “Aunt Mary” all their lives, and when they finally figured out that I’m gay, they also figured it didn’t change anything about the way I love and treat them.
Anyway……………..I didn’t want this to be about me, but about what a wonderful job you’re doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Take care – and best of luck.
I imagine I’m the millionth expression of gratitude, but I had to write to say thank you for the spot on WAMU, writing the book, and for being such a loving and articulate voice regarding family issues. I am a straight parent with many gay friends, some of whom are parents, some not. I think of two lesbian families I know as model parents who have taught me so much by example about how to nurture children, how to listen, how to attend to them. I know their children have benefited from living in homes with such loving and intentional parenting. Further, by example, they have been a blessing to me, and because of them I have become a better parent. Love ripples in many directions.
Blessings to you and your efforts to educate!
I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were brilliant in your interview with Dianne, so articulate and honest. You left no question unanswered while also answering questions and addressing points that hadn’t been asked (and needed to be addressed).
Our office administrator and I were yelling and clapping out loud at all of your dead-on responses! I am so happy that you were able to reach such a large amount of people with your message, one that so badly needs to be heard far and wide.
I listened to your recent interveiw with Diane Rehm this morning, and enjoyed the program tremendously. I have been searching for people like yourself who were brought up by gay parents to learn your experiences. Thank you for speaking up so eloquently and compellingly for others like yourself. I shall find try to find your book.
As for myself, I am a gay man, 32 years old. I’ve been with my partner now for over 5 years. He is 28 y.o. We have good relationships with our families and within the larger community in which we live. We are stable and have begun to talk seriously about adopting. Before hearing your interview, however, I must admit to having reservations myself about whether we should adopt; not because we wouldn’t make good parents, but for my lack of understanding and first-hand knowledge of how the child we might adopt “turn out”. As you alluded during the show: people (including myself) are just so unfamiliar with any other “paradigms” of bringing up children. I need to know that the child will be OK. I’ve had a wonderful upbringing and so did my partner, but I have to admit to some hesitation to whether a child brought up “untraditionally” by two gay parents would be well adjusted, despite our all the love, stability and care we would provide, and our best attempt to expose the a child to a diverse lifestyle, both gay and heterosexual. I hope this does not come across to you that I have some remaining self-loathing about myself. I believe I am quite well adjusted myself. But I feel it would help me a great deal to learn more about the experience of people like yourself, both the positives and negatives.
Therefore, could you provide me with some additional resources and information (aside from your book, of course), on studies or personal accounts on children raised by gay people? As a scientist, I would be very interested in long-term sociological studies from reputable sources. I would like to form my own opinion ultimately. In my research thus far, I feel that I want more breadth in the resources I’m tapping into. I would very much appreciate any advice you might have.
Thank you and good luck in your work.
Hello, I just finished listening to your segment on the Diane Rehm’s show, and I applaud you. When I was 15 my mother and Step-father divorced, and two years later my mother came out as a lesbian. At first the shock was hard to get over, but once I accepted it, I was able to see my mother’s happiness. For my siblings, who were heavily under the influence of my step-father’s homophobias, it was harder to accept. Eventually my mother’s choice tore my family apart. Both my siblings are older now, smarter and more mature, and they too recognize that my mother is the same person as she always has been, except now she’s happy.
The events of the country in regards to gay marriage has both broke my heart and angered me beyond belief. I applaud you for writing your book, making people understand what they refuse to see on their own. I can only hope and pray that someday, everyone, including homosexuals, in this country can be treated the same.
Good luck with your movement!
I just heard your interview on The Diane Rehm Show today, April 9, and I am thoroughly impressed. Your responses were clear, well-spoken, and right on! I was especially happy to hear your response to the man who asked if kids were better off in male-female headed households. The assumption that a married couple automatically loves each other and their children and are capable of providing a happy, healthy family is just as untrue as a gay couple necessarily raising a defunct family. Love is the key, not sex (or even gender).
Also, your response to why you chose young adults instead of teenagers was wonderful. I am 24, and clearly remember using self-defense tactics – lying – to protect myself, my friends, and my family. What kid doesn’t?
Thank you very much for providing an excellent voice to the rising chorus working for gay rights. I look forward to hearing you speak again.
Thank you so much for doing the interview on The Diane Rehm Show on NPR. I have been sorting through my thoughts & feelings & moral stand on the “civil unions issue”, and it is good to hear your ideas. I have not taken a lot of time to research the issue, but I have been waiting for more people like you to start speaking out. You are articulate and intelligent. While I consider myself a born again Christian and Republican (and married no less!), I really believe that if same-sex marriage is not legalized, then, at least, Civil Unions should be.
This is not something I need to struggle spiritually about. I agree with your assessment of how our culture still supports hate speech and homophobia. Until we can offer equality to gays, lesbians and children who are raised by them, we, as a country, fail to live as compassionate supporters of human and civil rights.
Good luck and God bless. I will pass along your web site to friends.
I’m listening to you live on the web right now…
Diane’s not being easy on you… neither are some of the crazy callers.
But I hope you are really proud b/c you come off so well.
So articulate. Great choice of words and sticking to your message.
My straight Mom is also listening…
Just heard you on the Diane Ream Show, you go girl, I am so proud of you and the work you are doing.
Hi Abigale, I heard your interview on the Diane Rheem show today and I love the work you are doing to de-stigmatize the gay community. We admire your liason/activism, advocating for normalization of gay families.
I’m a 57 year old straight, family-man with two straight kids. We’ve raised our kids to be accepting of the gay community and have always appreciated the unique, loving, humorous, and aesthetic qualities that gay people contribute to society.
Last year Diane Rheem interviewed an African American woman who had written a book about the traditional village she grew up in Africa and when Diane asked her about gays she said that they had always been revered as “the keepers of the sacred love” in the community. America is missing out on a great social benefit because of its misunderstanding, fear, and intollerance.
Thank you.
I heard your interview with Diane Reame and loved it. Your experiences have made you extremely articulate, concise, passionate, and educated about a population of folks/families that deserve more of our respect and time.
Abigail, I heard you on the Diane Reim Show a couple weeks ago and I’m excited to read your book. Given the hype going on in Massachusetts and the horrible things we’ve been hearing in NH about gay families and the children in gay families your message is soooo important to get out.
Thank you for your time and for your great work on this book! As my partner and I plan to start our family I’m hopeful that your book will help us understand what it is like to be a child with gay parents and become better parents ourselves.
Hope the tour is going well. I did catch the end of your interview with Diane R. on NPR.
Great job on the book! I’m about 3/4 of the way through. So much good information. Too bad we didn’t have it 15 years ago! I certainly would have done some things differently, but on the whole I think I didn’t do such a bad job! :-) Your style is so eazy to read, informative and cogent. Kind of like a good novel. :-) What are you going to write next?
I heard you speak on the Diane Reem show. I am a 61 year old gay man who has recently come out, kinda, LOL to my son. It only took $5000.00 in therapy to accept the man whom I am.
I listened to your appearance on WAMU today. Thank you for your book, I think that it is right on time in these days of much confusion!