My daughter, in particular, has had some interesting reactions. Whereas I am ready to identify myself to the world as gay (not in an obnoxious way–not my style–I’m much more subtle and low key), she is not. I put a rainbow HRC sticker on my car. She tore it off. The conversation about her reaction was very revealing to me. She quite emphatically and very articulately stated that her friends are not stupid, they know what a rainbow means. She went on: that although I am ready to identify as gay, she wasn’t ready. She innately understood that my identification meant her own, that just as her adoption from a Central American country made her otherwise all-white adoptive family a minority Hispanic family, my being gay made her a part of a minority gay family.

I know that her full acceptance will come with time–your articles promise me as much. In fact, just recently she was suspended from school for fighting. When I asked her why she slapped the boy, she said he had been teasing her friend, had called her a name that made her cry. I asked what the name was: lesbian. I take her altercation to not only be a defense of her friend, but also of me and the new family identity in which she has found herself.

Thank you for letting all us gay parents know through your life story that for the most part our kids do and will love us no less, that they consider us their fathers and mother regardless of out sexual identity. You give us all hope in the future.

It is vital that parents are as open and honest with their children as they can be. A child must fell that they can talk and ask whatever questions enter their head. The most important thing for a childs esteem is not to feel ashamed about who they are and where they come from.

My father never came out to me and I’m not totally convinced he ever fully accepted himself. Throughout my life I’ve felt wrong and that I shouldn’t be here. If I’m rational it’s stupid, but the feelings are real.

How can a child accept who they are if their parent(s) can’t. homophobia is definitely learned. I grew up in horribly homophobic bigotted environment. My step-father took great pleasure in running down gay people. One comment sticks in my mind. It went like this “gays are good in business because they are deeply unhappy in their lives.” now on one level it sounds like a compliment, but it isn’t. He was basically saying that they are ashamed of who they, so they are more driven to succeed in other aspescts of their lives.

Talk to children and make them proud of who they, not ashamed or frightened. Homophobic bullying will occur, it’s a sad fact of life. All a parent can do is to equip their child for it. people can deal with things if they themselves are secure in who they are.