Article by Abigail Garner

Ah, Pride! My favorite holiday.

For most of the year, we sons and daughters of GLBT parents — especially the adult children — are nearly impossible to pick out of a crowd. And often, when we’re in queer space, our identities tend to be misread. When I’m present at various activities for GLBT families, it’s not uncommon for parents to ask if my partner is with me or how many children I have.

Once I responded to a lesbian mom’s questions by explaining, “Actually, I’m not a mom. I’m a daughter. A grown-up daughter.”

“Oh,” she said as her eyes grew wide. “Way grown up!”

That’s right: way grown up. When parents need to tend to the day-to-day logistics of raising kids — like changing diapers and chasing away bad dreams –it’s easy to avoid thinking about the fact that their children will grow up to be adults. Adults who may or may not identify as GLBT. Adults who may or may not identify as culturally queer. Adults who may or may not choose to seek out a community of other sons and daughters of GLBT parents.

Pride is a time for me to have fun and relax with those other sons and daughters. I feel a mix of joy and relief when we get together. For a rare moment, we don’t have to defend our personal or political definitions of family or community. There, we’re among friends who “get it.”

I asked some other daughters and sons of GLBT parents why they participate in Pride. Below are their replies, in their own words.

Jolene, 23: “Marching in the parade gives me a body rush. It feels good to honor my family situation while feeling encouraged and acknowledged. It gives me a sense of belonging to the gay community.”

Breanne, 18: “I want to show my own pride in feeling privileged to have so much interaction with such a fabulous community.”

David, 26: “I’m marching in Pride to be seen as part of the action, to steadfastly support my gay father, to show him my love, and to freely express how proud I am to have such a wonderful dad.”

Mary, 21: “Pride is an opportunity to show my love, support, and pride for my Dad. During the parade last year, people stepped out from the curbs to hug my sister and me. Most people wanted to tell us that they thought that it was great that we would support our Dad, but there were some sad stories from people whose children weren’t speaking to them.”

Ashley, 18: “I go to Pride to live my cultural queerness out loud. I march with COLAGE [Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere] because it’s so empowering to be amongst a group of people who know the intricacies of homophobia from the ‘kid of’ perspective.”

Daniel, 25: “I fundamentally believe in equal rights and anti-discrimination efforts. It makes me feel good to be surrounded by others who are willing to be supportive of one another.”

Sarah, 17: “I’m proud of my family, and I want to show support for gays and lesbians who have children.”

Rebecca, 16: “I like to show my support of my mother and her partner, and of the gay community that has been around me while I was growing up. It’s important to me that I stay connected with such an integral part of my life.”

Melissa, 28: “I want to promote COLAGE and show that there are a lot of ‘us’ out there. I also want to show my support for my dad and the GLBT community. Besides, nothing compares to the love and acceptance you feel at Pride!”

Greta, 12: “I’m marching in Pride because my mom is part of me and celebrates who I am. Pride is a time when I can do that same thing for her. I rejoice in my mom and her ‘lifestyle.’ Seeing the look on her face when I march down the street is almost as good as watching Dykes on Bikes!”

Happy Pride, everyone!

Originally published in Lavender Magazine.

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