I first read about you in the Wellesley Alumnae Magazine Summer 2001 issue. (Our son came out at age 18 in 2000 and I started noticing such articles more closely!) I tucked it away in a file until today, when I rediscovered it, and find that you have really developed your activism, written a book, etc. I just finished listening to a WGBH video online in which you talk about your book.

Congratulations on your fine work!

–Dorothy, Wellesley ‘67

As someone who is struggling with the idea of raising children in a gay household, your web “in-site” is very helpful. It’s amazing how you can get yourself out of the closet but it is very hard to get the closet out of you…

I wanted to let you know that I am interested in becoming more active in GLBT issues as a physician and Wellesley woman who I think could help breakdown stereotypes and would like to help foster tolerance–particularly in the face of the recent events. Let me know if I can be of any assistance…and good luck in your future.

While I am not aware of any gay members of my immediate or distant family, I have long resented the attitude espoused by the person you quoted as writing, “Kids need a mom and dad, both offer very unique views to help form a child, and yes there are plenty of bad mom’s [sic] and dad’s [sic] but it is the only way and has been for many years.”

The only thing I can agree with in this statement is that it takes more than one person to raise a child. It’s like monocular versus binocular vision; a child learns perspective through comparing the viewpoints of his or her primary caretakers. The kid is not blind for being raised by only one, but sees better if there are at least two parents (not necessarily biological). And I suppose that, on the other hand, a child will not attach to an indefinite number of people as parents. But I do not see any reason that those people must of necessity be numbered two, one male and one female.

Anyhow, I think it is great that you offer support to those who have felt excluded at points in their life because their parents did not fit that model. I can understand that they might also feel excluded from the gay-and-bisexual community on which they ostensibly have some claim. As a sympathetic straight person, I certainly have received that cold shoulder in the past. But it wouldn’t affect me as much as someone whose lineage identity is called into question.

Kudos.
Heather ‘92

My mother recently came out to me and my family (I have a younger bro and sis, 13 and 12 respectively) and it has been an interesting time since. I was considering attnending at WLBTF meeting, or something like that in the fall to learn more and support her, but was thinking that it might not be the MOST supportive atmosphere. In any event, it is great to see that there is an organization out there that really supports the FRIENDS part, or the children to be more specific.

Good luck and know that you have my support!

I graduated in 1993 and I now work with LGBT youth youth. As an out and proud bisexual woman (even while at Wellesley) I know all to well the crap the GL community can put out. And I think what you are doing is great.

Anyway, best of luck.

Miriam

I just received my copy of the latest Wellesley Alumnae magazine and couldn’t help but to notice the blurb about your website. I am writing to you because, I too, have gay parents. My dad and his partner have been together for 10 years, and my mom is straight and remarried - for almost 12 years.

I graduated this year from Wellesley and will be working on my master’s degree in education this fall. I would love to hear from you.

Emily

The article about you in the Wellesley magazine was forwarded to our PFLAG e-group and I’m sure you will hear form other members of our group.

As a proud mom of a terrific gay son, I, too, feel very much a part of the gay community. I’m past president of our Long Island chapter and a visible, vocal advocate for equal rights for the LGBT community. In the beginning, when my son first came out about 9 years ago, I felt intimidated to speak as I felt I did not have a valid place in the gay community. It was my son who encouraged me and told me that I really was part of his community.

Your parents must be so proud of you. We, the straight allies of the gay community, have a voice that can sometimes be heard and listened to when (unfortunately) our gay loved ones voices are blocked out by ignorance. We can open the door a bit to let intelligence slip in and then other voices can be heard. We, too, help “put a face on gay”. When people who know us learn about our families, the fear and discomfort of the unknown recedes.

When we speak openly and naturally about our gay loved ones just as we do about our straight loved ones, it gives others the comfort level and permission to ask questions and learn. When they see how we love, accept and embrace all our children (parents, loved ones) regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression, it makes a world of difference in their perception. There is a ripple effect - we sensitize and affect people around us without always realizing it. Every voice is important - Congratulations to you for what you are doing. As a parent it is so much easier to speak out - It took terrific courage for you, as a child, to take a stand.

All the best
Iris

Thanks for your good work!

Karen (and Linda!)