Dec 26th, 2000
Hold Bush to Equality for Gays
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Article by Abigail Garner
The New Year is here, and our nation is facing an incoming president who is not a friend to gay Americans.
This calls for a collective New Year’s resolution for gay families and their supporters. Now more than ever, we must resolve to make our families visible and renew our commitment to our vision of equality.
I am concerned that the next four years adversely will affect my family, my community and the estimated 10 million children being raised in loving families by parents who are gay.
My father came out as gay when I was 5 years old. Since then, he has been in a committed, same-sex relationship — 23 years and counting. While I am heterosexual, I grew up aware of how my family was affected by anti-gay policies and attitudes.
My parents could have been fired because they were gay. I worried that police could have ignored my family’s requests for help if we ever had to report gay bashing. If my father’s life partner had been stricken by an incapacitating medical condition, my father would not have been allowed to make decisions on his behalf.
George W. Bush has referred to gay rights as “special rights.” But the only special right that gay Americans have is to be discriminated against with impunity.
In 39 states, it is still legal to fire workers based on their sexual orientation. Gay parents risk losing visitation rights to their children when they fight for custody against a straight ex-spouse in a homophobic court system. In Florida, Utah and Mississippi, gays and lesbians cannot adopt children.
Because of these inequalities, many gay and lesbian families are afraid to speak up. And when they do not or cannot speak up, it perpetuates a myth that such families do not exist. But when we show politicians that this population consists of actual human beings — someone’s daughter, son, sister, brother, mother or father — it becomes harder to justify anti-gay policies that threaten their human rights.
Bush’s record shows that he is against same-sex marriage, opposes adoption by gay parents and supports anti-sodomy laws. He also has avoided a direct answer when asked if he would hire gay people.
But in his acceptance speech, Bush said, “The president of the United States is the president of every single American, of every race and every background.”
Let’s hold him to his word.
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Originally written for Progressive Media Project. It ran in the Miami Herald, Charlotte Observer, St. Paul Pioneer Press, the Fall River Herald News (MA), the Times Argus (VT), the Lakeland Ledger (FL), and the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle.
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While it certainly is not the most radical commentary ever written, exposure in the “mainstream” invited emails from extremists. Some responses were disturbing, others were downright entertaining.
Thank you very much for the excellent editorial. I, for one, always appreciate clear and articulate efforts from our straight allies to educate the broader population. Your piece does a great job of it.
Just read your op-ed piece in the Fall River Herald News. Brava for your eloquent statement that should be a MUST read by all families. I’ll be passing it around on some of the email lists that I’m on.
George W. Bush is totally correct if he indeed stated that requested homosexual rights are special rights. Homosexual males and females have the same rights as single people. Perhaps you need to do research to enlighten your vision of what marriage is. You could start with cultural or religious history and go back as far as your information takes you.
It was a pleasure to read your commentary in the St Paul Pioneer Press. Your point about speaking up is an important one. So often, it seems that those who have strong anti-gay sentiments find it easy to speak up because they cannot put a human face on their targets. We have to be willing to speak up and talk about our gay and lesbian friends and family members and make the case for equality whenever an opportunity arises. We need to make politicians and everyday people understand that gay and lesbian people aren’t just “them” — they are our loved ones, they are part of “us”. Thank you for putting it so eloquently.
This was picked up by Knight/Ridder/Tribune and published in the Charlotte Observer (NC) on 12.29.00. I would like to get a first-hand copy to send to everyone on my mailing list. If that’s possible ~ thank you very much. Thanks anyway for a great article; something that must be printed!
Gays have the same “rights” as any other in this country. What they want is official acceptance of their perverted life style. The only organizations
accepting this are those who get government funds and have been arm twisted into doing it. If it had not been for the “BATH HOUSE” mentality of fags we
would never had seen the spread of the AIDS virus. Get real.
Having read your article, I feel compelled to respond to your call to gays and their families to be more visible etc. in the eyes of Americans. First
and foremost, I want to say that I am a white female with strong faith, a wife and mother of 3 and a conservative who, thanks to this recent
Presidential election, has a much better understanding of many of the radical and activist groups who support liberals.
It seems like you fall in the “softer and gentler” category of gay activism (correct me if I’m wrong). And in this light, your message is probably being heard! While many Americans are “tolerant” of gays and lesbians, it is the extreme activism (for example, Scouting for All) that is turning the stomachs of countless numbers and turning them away from considering anything these “in your face and down your throats” gay agenda activists are pushing!
Hey! It makes me sick to think of that university student who was killed because he was gay just like it makes me sick that white extremists exist in the 21st century. Those who kill for idiotic reasons should be severely punished! On the flip side, forcing somebody to do something or rather,
trying to make somebody understand and agree with the gay agenda, is not the best way to get your foot in the door. I’m willing to bet that most decent people are compassionate and willing to tolerate anything “out of the ordinary” that comes their way (even in the work place).
Frankly, though, it’s the extremists who are hurting and will continue to hurt the gays’ chances for tolerant attitudes. Instead of writing to those
who are probably already tolerant of your message, you should direct your message to the extreme gay leaders and ask them to lighten up their tactics for getting across their points. No one likes being told what to do, and I submit that heterosexuals of all ages are becoming rebelious to those who are forcing homosexuality into our culture!
Your commentary was passed to me through a Rhode Island activist network. Nice piece! I could not help but notice, however, a glaring omission and bias on your part. Where has your concern been for the 6,000 gay men and lesbian women who have been fired from their military careers under supposedly friendly Bill Clinton these past 8 years? These are the very people who help make it possible for your father to live in a society where he can love who he wishes, though as a second-class citizen.
Your editorial appeared in The Miami Herald on Monday. As a Christian and heterosexual, I am appalled with the gay community’s continuing trampling of family values and ethics. No rational or intelligent person, no matter the sexual preference, can honestly say that homosexuality is normal. It is simply a sexual weakness and desire that should not be protected by law, and has no place in the raising of children. Gay people have equal rights as do all Americans. Gays, as well as heterosexuals, just are not protected by sexual preference.
Also, let me make it clear about giving special rights to anyone who engages in sexual activity with people of the same sex. What people choose to do in their bedrooms is their business. However, protecting them with laws is wrong because it discriminates against people who are heterosexual.
President-elect Bush is no different from any other man of high moral standards and ethics. Homosexuals are trying to destroy the sacred
foundation and act of marriage between a man and a woman. Gay couples should not be able to adopt children because of the irreversible, psychological harm it does to the children. Of course, gay people can be loving parents, but there is no way to overcome the fact that children should not be exposed to a situation where people have sinful, sexual desires toward someone of the same sex.
Finally, remember that people are not born gay. They choose to be homosexual for various reasons. (I have proof of this statement if you wish to discuss it further.) Our country should not give special rights to people who engage in this behavior. If somehow it did, who’s next? Are child molesters, adulterers, nympho maniacs going to be protected because of their sexual weakness? Are crossdressers and people who engage in bestiality going to ask for special rights? Special rights are for “special people,” like the handicapped, the elderly, and children. Let’s hope it stays that way.
James Stobs, Miami
I was reading the Miami Herald on Sunday and was fascinated by your piece.
Although I am not Gay, I’ve got many friends who are and I agree with every word you wrote (and for me that’s unusual). Abigail Garner, if there is anything I can do to help you with your cause and issues….email me and I’ll be there in a flash.
Greetings abigail,
I read your column in the paper this morning and thought i would drop you a line with a different point of view. I just moved here from San Francisco so Gay issues are not foriegn to me or my family. First, I speak for myself, so here goes.
Abigail, I have a wife and three children and one of my biggest struggles in raising them is where to draw the line between what is and what is not acceptable. I have found my self having to defend my beliefs for to long which are briefly as follows. No gay couple OR straight single people should be allowed to adopt children ever. You see kids need a mom and dad if I have to explain why that its own problem. As long as there are willing able and loving moms and dads out there that should be the only option. Kids need a mom and dad, both offer very unique views to help form a child, and yes there are plenty of bad mom’s and dad’s but it is the only way and has been for many years.
You mentioned sodomy laws as being supported by bush, but can you tell me how many Gay people are in jail for sodomy? It starts with a Z. Don’t make issues where issues don’t exsist. Did you know the entire population is effected by sodomy laws and that these laws were put on the books before anyone knew what gay was? I think that is a weak point. Also I think we agree on one thing. Anyone who would harm someone for being gay should be locked up and the key thrown away.
As for same sex marriage, understand something. A society has to define what normal is, better known as “social norms” from civics and the gay community has yet to accept that what they do is not normal. In the Bay Area CA Gay marriage was defeated 68% to 30% in the most liberal state I can think of. It will never happen and I hope i’m right. You can do what you want with your life Abigail, but extend me the same courtesy. As you have every right to feel the way you do and express it, so do I without being called a homophobe. Why am I the one with the problem I guess is the question, When the majority of the planet has a similar view to mine? just because I don’t want gays to be able to adopt or legalize gay marriage doesn’t make me a homophobe.
A line of what’s normal and what’s not has been clearly drawn for generations, these days no matter what someone’s beliefs we are to accept it as diversity. I think the more you make the taboo acceptable, the faster this countries morals continue in a downward spiral. Thanks for reading and as hard as you push for your beliefs strive to walk in the shoes of others, I continue to try and understand your position everyday, I just cannot yet.
Just a personal note to support the cause you wrote about in your column that appeared in today’s St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Anyone concerned about equal protection had better be watchful during these next four years. I hope you will continue to “speak truth to power”. It is
going to take a concerted effort to keep this country from sliding back into a policy of “benign neglect” … reminiscent of Nixon’s “Southern Strategy” and his efforts to quietly nullify civil rights gains made under earlier administrations.
Those are your feelings, great. I gave 20 years of my life for you to have that say, now I am having mine. I agree with President elect Bush, that same sex marriage are not in the best interest of this country. After 20 years of putting my life on the line, I feel I also, like you have strong feelings that Gays their supports, whom do not like the laws go some place that is more to their liking. I will fight you legally all the way to keep same sex marriages from taking place. Also do not believe that gays should be able to adopt. You have your morals and I have mine, and there are more of mine than of yours. PLEASE do all of us a favor and leave the county or obey the laws of the land. Thank You.
I am a long-time lesbian activist in Texas, and your column was included in a local PFLAG e-mailing. You should know that Dubya’s record on hate crimes against gays and lesbians is really bad. He tried to hide behind half-truths and non-truths during the Presidential debate when it came up. He misstated three times during the debate that James Byrd’s killers all were given the death penalty.
You will recall the tragic James Byrd murder in East Texas. Mr. Byrd was dragged for miles behind a pickup truck with a chain, resulting in
unimaginable pain, dismemberment, and death.
Mr. Byrd’s relatives sat in Governor Bush’s office, urging him to support hate crimes legislation pending in the Texas legislature. The previous hate crimes legislation passed several years earlier in Texas was so weak as to be nearly non-existent. Now, new legislation with some heft to it was pending, to be named after Mr. Byrd. Governor Bush told Mr. Byrd’s family that he might be able to support the bill, if the inclusion of gay/lesbian people in the list of those protected were taken out. Mr. Byrd’s family refused to weaken the legislation. I heard them speak and tell this story. Abigail, these people are rural African-Americans with little formal education. But they knew what was right. They understood the principle of inclusion, even though they badly wanted the legislation to pass. Governor Bush, with his expensive education and life of priviledge, did the wrong thing.
In addition, his family got the distinct impression by his demeanor that Governor Bush was just in a hurry to get them out of his office. He was distracted, he did not engage with them, he was not, pardon the use of the word, compassionate.
Anyway, just thought you should know that story, as we do here in Texas.
I can hardly wait for the compassionate new administration to give tax cuts to those who really need them, those whose wealth puts them in the top 2% of the population.
Your article appeared in the Charlotte Observer. I support President-elect Bush 100% in his views towards gays and lesbians. It is not a legitimate
alternative lifestyle. It is immoral; I guess you don’t like to face the facts! I certainly don’t hate gays or lesbians; however, I do hate their lifestyle just as I hate the lifestyle of adulterers, pedophiles, murderers, buglarers, and rapists! They are all immoral lifestyles!
Hartley Simpson
Charlotte, NC
I have read your article on your view about BUSH supporting gay citizen’s and same-sex partners raising families, etc..
What do you suggest we do to head in the right direction to lobby the president-elect to stand up to his comment, “president for all people”?
I think we should remind President-Elect Bush, VP-Elect Cheney and all of the incoming cabinet members everyday that we are a strong group of people and that we must have the attention we deserve.
What do we do to get the attention we not only deserve but NEED to continue to make progress?
The night Gov. Bush was officially elected a mood came over me. One that I felt before, that had not been felt in a long long time. I am only 39 and feel with the outcome of this election we have stepped backwards too far. We must do something and not stand quietly on the sidelines to continue to make steps forward.
As they say, “You go, Girl!” You are so articulate and thoughtful and RIGHT! Thank you for having the courage to speak out!