Article by Abigail Garner-Horneck-Majewski-Grossinger

What’s in a name? These days, quite a bit. But more importantly, what’s between the names? Hyphens. Plenty of them.

The census in 2030 showed that nearly 35 percent of our country’s children are now juggling at least four last names. The number of children with five or more last names is currently at 11 percent and is rapidly growing.

Options continue to increase for creating the proverbial village it takes to raise a child. These options include: moms, dads, stepdads, stepmoms, bio-moms, bio-dads, surrogate mothers, egg donors, sperm donors, foster moms, foster dads, adoptive moms, adoptive dads, and endless configurations of co-parents.

Such family diversity used to be inconceivable to those who once thought a family had to consist of a biological male and biological female united for the purpose of child-rearing. For those of us who remember when we were labeled “non-traditional” families, we know that the growing acceptance for such diversity is a long-deserved victory. But for a society set up for traditional families, it is a logistical nightmare.

Terry Thompson-Huston-Camphill-Jones is executive director of the newly formed educational nonprofit organization, Liberty and Justice for All Including People With Very Long Hyphenated Names (LAJFAIPWVLHN). Thompson-Huston-Camphill-Jones says that regardless of the success in passing non-discriminatory laws for marriage, adoption, and employment, hyphen compliancy is really the ultimate test of acceptance. “We predict that the mono-hyphenated population will be in the minority by 2057,” says Terry. “So a growing percentage of families are challenging the outdated systems that are currently in place.”

Some would argue that Hyphen Rights is a petty issue. Not so, say the leaders of LAJFAIPWVLHN, who have produced a list of 601 ways that non-hyphenist practices discriminate against poly-hyphenated individuals and their families. Hyphen activist Chrys Peterson-Hallie-Ofdorf-Jenkins-Green, 25, knows firsthand about the need for universal hyphen compliance. Beyond practical reasons, there is, of course the matter of wanting to acknowledge all parts of a person’s heritage. “On most forms, my name only fits as far as Peterson-Hallie-Ofdorf,” Chrys explained, “It’s like I have no choice but to hide part of my identity.”

Chrys’s primary parental units, Kris Hallie-Jenkins and Chris Peterson-Ofdorf, are also active in this issue. “We’ve worked too hard on the Fair Forms legislation to give up now,” said Kris. The Fair Forms Act, which was passed in 2017, requires all personal data forms for minors to have a minimum of four non-gender-specific blank spaces for the names of parental units.

Chris and Kris view hyphen-activism as yet another stage in the evolution of identity politics. Chris explained, “We have always said we refuse to fit into the little boxes that other people have made for us. This time, we mean it literally.”

Abigail Garner-Horneck-Majewski-Grossinger is a figment of your imagination. Happy April Fools’ Day from the non-hyphenated columnist.

Originally published in Lavender Magazine.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS