Article by Abigail Garner

Ashley is a bright 16-year-old who is starting a Gay/Straight Alliance (GSA) at her private high school. I asked her, in addition to the solid goals she had developed to present to school administrators, what she personally hoped to get out of establishing the alliance.

“Personally?” She thought for a moment. “I sensor myself all the time. It is stifling. I want to fully participate. When I can’t bring all of my experiences into the classroom like everybody else, I’m not fully participating. And I’m not fully learning.”

Quite a common response from an LGBT teenager, right? Yet Ashley is not speaking as a teen who is LGBT. She is speaking as a daughter who has two lesbian mothers.

It starts on the first day of kindergarten when they are told to draw a picture of their families and share it with the rest of the class. It continues through the graduation ceremony when they arrange combinations of family members to pose for the camera. Whether their families are very out or very closeted, children of LGBT parents typically deal with homophobia on a daily basis in their schools, often at an earlier age than their GLBT peers.

Recently I facilitated a workshop for a group of children, ages 9-12, all of whom have GLBT parents. I asked how many of them had a Gay/Straight Alliance at their school. Out of nineteen children, two raised their hands. Then I asked, “If there were a GSA at your school, how many of you would want to be involved?” Without hesitation, the response was a unanimous show of hands.

Why do these students care so much about decreasing homophobia in their schools when they are not GLBT themselves? Ask 13-year-old Emily. She was on her way to her bus after school and was jumped by two boys who said she was “a fag just like her dad.” Ask 14-year-old Jenny who has a closeted gay dad and who frequently skips school to avoid hearing anti-gay jokes. Or ask 13-year-old Matt. He was harassed for days by classmates when they found out he listed two women as his parents on his emergency contact form. The teacher intervened only when the confrontation escalated to a physical fight.

While every school could benefit from a GSA, not every school has a courageous student leader like Ashley. She found a faculty advisor, recruited a community advisory board, and had several meetings with hesitant school administrators. After she was given permission to proceed, she surprised even herself when her outspokenness attracted over 30 students to the first meeting.

It is a lot of work for this high school junior but she expects her efforts to pay off. She has a clear vision of what she is working towards, mainly due to the supportive learning environment she experienced in eighth grade after three of her teachers came out. “I had no idea how free I was,” she reflected.

For Ashley, high school has meant taking a step back into the closet. This year, she is determined to change that — for herself and for her classmates.

Originally Published in Lavender Magazine.
(Reprinted in so many school/church newsletters I have lost count.)

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